For these past few months I haven't felt myself, went through a rough patch and seemed to have lost myself in the process.
Moving past something is hard. Something that takes a lot of strength, to find your happy place again does take time.
People used to always say 'time heals everything' and I never really agreed with that, I always thought that surely the more time you have the more time you have to dwell on something, to overthink something. But they were right, time really does heal. I have times where I thought id be stuck in that mind set forever, however you have to remember things have to hit rock bottom before they can get better. I am a very happy person and to carry round that kind of sadness was really confusing, frustrating and tiring. If your in a bad place at the moment, move. Change the bad things surrounding you, if its certain people, a place, a habit... remove yourself from it or them. You are in control of who you spend time with, where you spend time and what you spend your time doing, and if your unhappy you have to do something about it. Time is a precious thing, something no one can gain. You only lose time, so don't waste it. Don't just stick around with the bad things because it's easy for you, challenge and utilize the good in you.
One thing that helped me and is still helping me is my friends and family. Spending time with the people who make you forget about your problems is something you have to do to heal. When your alone you are left with nothing but thoughts, an array of scattered worries, memories, thoughts and problems. Don't bask in them but don't run away from them. If you run away from what is bringing you down you are a weak person. You need to fight through it. I understand times can get really shit but to fight through it will help you grow as a person.
As I said before time is a precious thing. Something I need to start doing is living in the moment, I did learn to for a bit but now I have completely lost focus on how to do that. I either live in the past or the future (metaphorically obviously..). I spend way to much time thinking about how I did things wrong, what I could've done differently etc... without knowing you are creating sadness, to truly be happy you need to think about what's going on right now. Otherwise you are wasting and losing time, something that you can't get back. You can't rewind and go back so leave what has past in the past! It's the same with the future, stop thinking about what could happen and think about what is happening, otherwise you are missing out on making new memories, meeting new people and living your life to the full.
This post is so pointless, I wish I could take my own advice, but I can give it to you and hope you take it, I know how it feels to be numb with sadness, stress and worries and want anyone who is going through that right now to know that things can get better. (Coming from someone who understands how your feeling)
I felt like posting this because I have had one of the best weekends I have had in a long time and that's down to my family, living in the moment, not worrying or thinking to much and most of all... CHRISTMAS!
Stay smiley ily all
Em x
